Parents Must Parent

Sally is a screamer who uses her big soprano voice to control her mother and most other adults in her life, but Sally’s mom can cancel this unwelcome performance anytime she gets ready to by singing her own special tune.

Toddlers, older children, and teens who act like Sally are getting more and more common in today’s society, and one of the reasons is due to a lack of effective parenting. As parents become busier and busier in their daily lives, with job commitments and financial stressors competing for the time to be able to ‘parent’, child rearing is getting relegated to the school system, neighbors, or sports coaches and after school care program leaders. And no one wants to really parent someone else’s kid, so children are left to be their own boss; hence the Sally’s in our midst.

And when mom or dad do finally have the time to be around little Sally, they don’t usually have the energy to deal with her need for attention.  Often times a busy parent will attempt to buy their way out of the attention being craved by their child, thinking that by agreeing to a new toy request or allowing Sally to spend the night at a friend’s house they will appease her and get her out of their hair.

But giving in to a child who wants attention—or their way—is just setting up some bad habits that are going to be harder to break on down the road. Instead, parents have to do the hard stuff: they have to parent.

But parenting doesn’t have to be all work and no play. Sure, you may have to rein Sally in a bit first, but you might as well have fun while you do it. Let me tell you how.

If your little Sally likes to perform her screeching tirades in public (like at the candy rack near the grocery store check-out line) then you must counterattack in public. If she screams and throws herself on the floor when you give the ‘no’ word for the chocolate she craves, act like you don’t hear her.

Pick up a magazine and flip the pages, taking time to read an article or two (or pretending like you are) as you wait for the cashier to get to your buggy. The cashier won’t be able to ring you out fast enough (isn’t that a perk!) and as Sally sees that you aren’t giving her the time of day, she will lower the volume, unsure what is going on.

Other customers, including the cashier, will likely throw disproving looks her way that will make her uncomfortable and she will probably zip it up when they do, or cling to your leg. You may even get lucky and another child might start laughing at her. Other kids can really help you reign in a temper thrower real quickly, as they know the score themselves and don’t want to see someone else getting away with it.

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