Working Women: The Gossip Cooler
Everybody gossips; don’t they? But is the gossip that is bringing women together at the cooler later separating them in the office?
If you think that gossiping at the water cooler is harmless, and you just can’t imagine not doing it—after all, how will you know what is going on—then sit back and grab a latte. I’ve got some news for you.
When women gather around the water cooler sharing tidbits about things going on at the office, men are listening and watching. And it is highly likely that at least one of those men is your boss or your boss’s boss. Now you may think that they don’t hear what you are saying as you whisper real low, so they won’t really care, but whether they hear what you say or not isn’t the point; they see that you are whispering and that shouts “gossiper” to them.
Most male bosses don’t like gossipy women. They don’t trust them, for one. And would you? If you were the boss and was always seeing a certain woman subordinate hovered over the water cooler and speaking in low whispers with another woman all the time, would you trust her? Would you wonder what she is saying about you or the job you have her working on?If your company work is highly classified you certainly wouldn’t want to assign her anything important, would you?
Even if your whispered conversation is about your own personal life, there is something about coming upon two people in whisper mode—who suddenly part company and cease talking when you approach—that seems like a snub. Who likes being snubbed or made to feel that way, I ask you?
But how am I going to learn what is going on with everyone, you ask?
Who says you need to know other people’s business? How can it help you to do your job better? It can’t. In fact, it can actually hurt your job performance. If you are busy hearing the good, the bad, and the ugly about everyone else, then who is doing your job?
Some people are able to do their job and gossip with no one the wiser. They don’t park themselves at the water cooler, they gab on their lunch break. So while they avoid their boss seeing them gossiping, they still imbibe. And lest you think that participating in gossip isn’t going to backfire on you if it is “out of sight” of the boss, you are wrong.
Gossip hurts everyone who participates in it. It hurts the person’s reputation that is being talked about first and foremost, since they never meant for anyone to be discussing their personal or work life behind their back—preventing them from setting the record straight. Second, it hurts the person doing the gossiping, since their reputation is now being tainted and recognized as someone who needs to talk about others in order to feel good about their own self.
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